Fatbeard

South Park Zone
South Park - Season 13 - Episode 1307 - Fatbeard
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South Park Fatbeard

Mistaking the recent upsurge of piracy in Somalia for a return of the classic era of swashbuckling pirates, Cartman convinces his classmates to run away to Somalia for a responsibility-free life in a warm tropical paradise. Butters, Ike, Clyde and Kevin join Cartman's crew and go to Mogadishu dressed as stereotypical pirates, where they are taken as ransom to a French schooner. However, Cartman assumes control of the schooner and returns with the captured vessel to Mogadishu, where the pirates start to admire him. Originally jubilant to be rid of Cartman, Kyle goes to Somalia to rescue Ike after he realizes his brother is gone. By then, Cartman is the widely respected captain of an actual pirate crew. Butters and Ike begin to recognize that the pirates have turned to a life of crime as a result of the country's crippling poverty, but Cartman refuses to give up his romantic notions. A U.S. Navy ship arrives, and snipers kill all of Cartman's pirates, leaving him dumbfounded and angry.

South Park Spoiler Alert! (The complete plot for this South Park Episode)

Having misunderstood the news about an upsurge of piracy in the Indian Ocean, Cartman excitedly tells his friends the classic era of piracy has returned, and asks the boys to join him in becoming a pirate in what he describes as a responsibility-free life in a warm tropical paradise. Sensing an opportunity to get rid of Cartman once and for all, Kyle encourages him to go, even offering to help pay for his ticket. Although Butters, Ike, Clyde and Kevin are the only students who agree to join his crew, an undaunted Cartman uses his mother's credit card to book a trip to Somalia. After a long flight and a 49-hour bus ride, the boys arrive in Mogadishu dressed as stereotypical pirates. Once there, however, they are shocked to find themselves in a desolate land, the complete opposite of their expectations. They quickly find the pirates, who are shocked that anyone would knowingly venture into their base. The pirates decide to ransom the boys to the first European vessel they find. The boys confidently go with them, believing they are being taken to a pirate ship, but are once again disappointed when they are taken to a small motorboat. Eventually, the pirates find a French schooner and demand a ransom of five thousand euros in exchange for the boys' lives. Meanwhile in South Park, Kyle happily claims partial credit for sending Cartman to Somalia and expects things will be better without Cartman around. But when his parents discover a farewell letter from Ike, Kyle realizes his brother has run off with Cartman to Somalia, and he sets off for Mogadishu to bring his brother home. Back in Somalia, the ransom is paid and the boys are surrendered. Once on board, however, Cartman assumes control of the schooner and orders the crew to get onto the lifeboat. Although the captain initially refuses, Kevin brandishes a toy lightsaber, frightening the French crew into abandoning ship. Cartman and the boys return to Mogadishu with the captured vessel, giving several bundles of Euros to the pirates. The pirates are initially shocked, but begin to respect Cartman. Unimpressed by their lack of "pirate" traits, he in turn leads them in raiding ships via a traditional sea shanty called "Somalian Pirates, We", and starts fashioning them into a stereotypical pirate crew. Meanwhile, the French crew is discovered by a cargo ship, and the U.S. Navy is deployed by NATO due to the news that the pirates now have advanced weaponry (meaning the lightsaber, which was reported to be real). Kyle arrives in Mogadishu, but is immediately taken captive by the pirates and held hostage. He pleads with Cartman to let him and his brother leave, but Cartman refuses, believing that Kyle is simply jealous of his new pirate life. Meanwhile, an English-speaking pirate named Guleed asks Butters and Ike why they decided to become pirates. When they say that they left because they were tired of things like school, chores, homework, and being yelled at by adults, Guleed responds by telling them that he dreamed of a simple life going to school. He never set out to be a pirate, but was forced into piracy to support his family. Realizing how irresponsible they all have been, Butters and Ike admit that a life of piracy is one of hardship, not fun and adventure. They then tell Cartman that they want to return home. Cartman refuses to give up his romantic delusions and threatens the boys with death by calling the real pirates to hold them at gunpoint. However, Cartman's vision is quickly disrupted when a U.S Navy ship appears off the coast carrying snipers, who shoots all of Cartman's pirate colleagues with a single gunshot to each of their heads. This leaves Cartman dumbfounded and annoyed.