HumancentiPad

South Park Zone
South Park - Season 15 - Episode 1501 - HumancentiPad
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South Park HumancentiPad

Several kids at South Park Elementary have iPads, but Cartman does not, and he is accused of pretending to have one. Kyle is chased through the town and kidnapped by Apple employees, who claim their actions are legal under the newest version of the iTunes terms and conditions, to which Kyle agreed without reading. Meanwhile, Cartman embarrasses his mother by loudly accusing her of "fucking" him because she tries to offer him a cheaper alternative to the iPad.

South Park Spoiler Alert! (The complete plot for this South Park Episode)

After Cartman mocks the other students for not having an iPad, it is revealed that he himself does not have one, much to his humiliation. Meanwhile, Kyle, who did not read the Terms and Conditions when agreeing to download his last iTunes update, is pursued by shadowy agents from Apple Inc., who wish to perform a number of intrusive actions upon him, informing him that he agreed to them when he downloaded the update. Kyle attempts to flee these men, and is incredulous when his friends inform him that they all actually read the entire Terms and Conditions when they downloaded their last update. Kyle seeks refuge at his father's law office, but the Apple agents kidnap him and taser his father. He is thrown into a cell with a Japanese man and a young woman who also failed to read the Terms. Meanwhile, Cartman embarrasses his mother, Liane, at Best Buy, mooning the customers and angrily accusing her of "fucking" him after she offers to buy him the cheaper Toshiba HandiBook. As a result of his outburst, she declines to buy him anything and takes him home. At a gathering of Apple employees, Steve Jobs unveils the new product for which Kyle and the other two were kidnapped: the HUMANCENTiPAD (based on The Human Centipede), comprising the three kidnapped subjects on all fours and sewn together mouth to anus. The Japanese man is in front, with an iPhone attached to his forehead; Kyle is in the middle; and the woman is at the rear, with an iPad attached to her anus and powered by the trio's defecation. However, Jobs is disappointed when Kyle continues to sign agreements that are put in front of him without reading them first, and puts the "device" through tests in an attempt to make it read. Back in South Park, Gerald goes with Stan, Kenny, and Butters to the Apple store to seek advice from "the Geniuses" on how to save Kyle. After performing two rituals, a "quickening" in which they interface through their mouths using light beams and a "toran ra" ritual in which they poke floating colored bubbles, the Geniuses conclude that they can make Kyle's agreement void if Gerald, a PC user, signs up with Apple and creates a family account. When Gerald consents to join Apple, the head Genius proclaims the Vulcan phrase Kal-if-fee and an induction ceremony in tin foil hats is held in a setting resembling the planet Vulcan in the Star Trek: The Original Series episode "Amok Time". Meanwhile, Cartman appears on Dr. Phil to publicly accuse Liane of "fucking" him. The audience takes his side despite Liane's protests; as a consolation gift, Cartman is given the first ever HUMANCENTiPAD as Jobs unveils it to the public. Cartman is elated to have a device that not only supports web browsing and email, but allows him to have someone defecate into Kyle's mouth. Shortly afterwards, Gerald and the Apple employees arrive to tell Jobs that Kyle must be released, since his agreement to the iTunes terms and conditions is no longer valid. Jobs allows Kyle and the two others to be taken away to be separated, and Cartman, enraged at having his dream taken away so quickly, shouts at God, angrily mocking him for "fucking" him. He is then struck by a bolt of lightning (presumably sent by God, angered by Cartman's disrespect, as punishment for Cartman's behavior). The episode ends with a shot of Cartman battered and bruised in a hospital bed, sobbing, while his mother flips through a book indifferently.