Whale Whores

South Park Zone
South Park - Season 13 - Episode 1311 - Whale Whores
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South Park Whale Whores

After a family visit to the public aquarium during which Japanese people slaughter all the dolphins, Stan takes on the cause of saving the dolphins and whales from Japanese whalers. He joins Paul Watson and his crew on the television show Whale Wars but find them to be ineffective publicity seekers. After Watson is killed by whalers, Stan becomes the new captain of the ship and leads a much more successful campaign against Japanese whaling by employing more aggressive methods. After Japanese pilots launch kamikaze attacks on his ship, Stan and his crew are captured and brought to Japan. They learn the whaling efforts are a retaliation for the bombing of Hiroshima, as they believe that the Enola Gay bomber was piloted by a dolphin and a killer whale. The boys convince the Japanese officials that the pilots were actually a cow and a chicken, prompting the Japanese to cease their whaling efforts and begin a vendetta against cows and chickens, slaughtering them instead.

South Park Spoiler Alert! (The complete plot for this South Park Episode)

The Marsh family is spending Stan's ninth birthday at a public aquarium in Denver. As the Marshes enjoy interacting with the trained bottlenose dolphins, Japanese armed with spears suddenly storm the dolphinarium and kill all the dolphins. The Japanese perform similar attacks at several other aquariums, and at an NFL game, where they kill members of the Miami Dolphins football team. Stan asks his friends Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny to help him take on the cause of saving the dolphins and whales from the Japanese. Kyle declines, feeling they can't change Japan's views on the issue. Cartman and Kenny are much more interested in playing the video game Rock Band, professing they "don't give two shits about stupid-ass whales". Eventually, Butters informs Stan about the television show Whale Wars, stating that they can take volunteers to help them. Seeing this as his chance, Stan takes Butters' advice and joins host Paul Watson and his crew aboard the Sea Shepherd, but is underwhelmed by their method of throwing "stinky butter" at Japanese whalers in an effort to deter them. After the Japanese whalers kill Watson with a harpoon, Stan destroys their ship by igniting their fuel barrels with a flare gun. Stan becomes the new captain and leads a more successful campaign in impeding the Japanese whaling effort by employing more aggressive methods. The crew ends up getting interviewed by Larry King, who describes Paul Watson as an "incompetent media whore" and questions Stan on his intentions of increasing ratings with violence. Stan dismisses the charge and contends he is only interested in saving the whales, not ratings. Wanting to be on television, Cartman and Kenny join the ship's crew under false pretenses of wanting to save the whales. After a brief run-in with Captain Sig Hansen and his crew from the show Deadliest Catch, Japanese pilots launch kamikaze attacks on the Sea Shepherd. The suicidal planes kill the Whale Wars crew except for Stan, Cartman and Kenny. The trio are captured and brought to Japan, where Emperor Akihito tells them retaliation for the bombing of Hiroshima is the primary motive for Japan's whaling efforts. He shows them a doctored photograph—given to Japan by the United States after the bombing—of the Enola Gay piloted by a dolphin and a killer whale. According to him, Japan was so grateful the Americans gave the Japanese these photos they declared peace. Knowing the picture is a fake, Stan decides to reveal the truth about the bombing, but Cartman reminds him that the Japanese seek to drive the entire species of the perpetrators to extinction. Claiming the U.S. government has authorized him to show the "original" photo, Stan presents Prime Minister Yukio Hatoyama and other Japanese officials with a new doctored photo showing a cow and chicken in the Enola Gay (created by Kyle, who Stan managed to phone beforehand). The Japanese become infuriated, now believing cows and chickens had modified the original photo to frame the innocent whales and dolphins. The Japanese agree to cease their whaling efforts and start slaughtering cows and chickens, storming farms full of the animals. The episode ends as Randy congratulates Stan for making the Japanese "normal, like us."